


Oh Brother!

by Interrobanng



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Humor, Identity Reveal, Light Angst, Misunderstandings, Oblivious Adrien Agreste, One Shot, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 14:31:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15075155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Interrobanng/pseuds/Interrobanng
Summary: “I’m not mad. I’m not. Why would I be mad? Why would I be mad just because Marinette said that Chat Noir is like a brother to her? It doesn’t make any sense for me to be mad about that!”





	Oh Brother!

**Author's Note:**

> This fic references characters and events from the Miraculous Adventures comics, Issues 3 & 4.

**_Disclaimer:_ **

_I do not own Miraculous Ladybug or any associated content/properties._

_***_

****

**_Oh Brother!_ **

 

***

 

“Marinette, do you…like Chat Noir?” Alya asked.

“Of course I do. He’s a superhero.” Marinette laughed as she slipped her phone into her pocket.

“No, I mean…do you _like_ like Chat Noir?”

“Huh? What?! No! Ew! Why would you even—ugh, Alya! C’mon! Gross! He’s _Chat!_ He’s like a brother to me! HA hehe haha!” Marinette could feel her face turning fire hydrant red as she waved her hands in the air and backed away from her friend, denial burning fierce in every fiber of her being. Nervous laughter bubbled up her throat and a pained grimace masquerading as a smile warped her features.

How did she manage to get herself into these situations?

The day had started off normal enough. She overslept and skipped breakfast and ran to class as fast as she could. Shortly afterwards, she was forced to make a hasty, half-baked excuse to leave class and go deal with an akuma on the other side of the city. She made it back just in time for the last five minutes of the school day and an interrogation from Alya. Marinette tried to distract her friend by showing her a picture someone had taken of Chat Noir during the battle and posted on social media, but instead of diverting the Ladyblogger’s attention it only increased her suspicion.

And now, all of a sudden, the question wasn’t “Where were you?” but rather “Do you like-like Chat Noir?”

Where did _that_ come from?

Alya crossed her arms and arched a skeptical brow. “Marinette. Take three deep breaths and think about what you just said and, more importantly, _how_ you said it.”

“What? Why? Ha ha haha!” Marinette gulped when she saw the severity of Alya’s glare. She took three deep breaths and thought about the words she had spoken a moment ago.

Marinette went pale as a ghost and her brain filled with grey static as the ramifications hit her like a fake tunnel painted on the side of a desert mountain. She swore she heard the Fates laugh at her and whisper _meep meep._

“Oh _no_ …”

Alya sighed and placed a comforting hand on her stricken friend’s shoulder. “It’s okay, I understand. How ‘bout this, we’ll go to your place and we’ll talk about it. Off the record, I promise. We’ll get cake from the bakery and we’ll make some tea and we’ll talk about it on the roof where no one will hear us. Sound good?”

“Alya…what am I going to _do?”_

“You’re gonna talk it over with your best friend.” Alya kept her hand on Marinette’s shoulder and began steering her down the steps, headed towards the bakery. “Don’t worry. I’m here for you.”

As they walked away, neither girl noticed the tall blonde duck out from behind the stone staircase and stare after them with a baffled, conflicted expression.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Adrien wondered out loud. He’d returned to campus a moment before class ended and had been trying to sneak in undetected to fetch his belongings when Marinette and Alya came bursting out the front door. He didn’t know why he’d hidden—it had been an automatic reaction. Some instinctual need to avoid raising any Ladyblogger alarm bells. He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop on what was obviously a private conversation, but when he heard Marinette say “Quick—look at this picture of Chat Noir!” he couldn’t help but perk his ears with interest.

“I’m not answering that question.” Plagg rolled over in Adrien’s shirt pocket and wrinkled his nose with irritation. This whole secret identity thing was really starting to spoil his cheese. He preferred the good old days when superpowers meant respect and ritual offerings, not burdensome secrecy and perpetual adolescent drama.

“Why would she say that?”

“Don’t ask me. I’m not dealing with this.”

“Plagg! What the hell does ‘like a brother’ mean?!”

The only response from the pocket was a prolonged snore.

 

***

 

“How could this happen?!”

“I don’t know why you’re so surprised. He’s rescued you so many times—”

“He’s a superhero! He rescues tons of people! And so do—so do lots of other people! It doesn’t mean anything!”

“O- _kaay.”_ Alya drawled, taking a contemplative sip from her steaming mug. “So, what do you like about him? If it’s not about the heroics and it’s not a celebrity crush, what else do you actually know about him?”

“I know—” Marinette stopped herself a second before she told Alya that she knew everything there was to know about Chat Noir, thank you very much. It had probably been a mistake to have this conversation with Alya when Tikki was a perfectly viable option, but Marinette had been left shell-shocked by the realization that she was hard-core crushing on her partner. She hadn’t considered the risks until the conversation was well underway.

She had to be extremely careful from this point on.

“I know that to him I’m just another civilian, but we’ve talked a few times. One on one. Outside of fighting supervillains, even.”

“Okay.” Alya nodded, suppressing her journalistic instincts (all of which were screaming that this story reeked to high heaven) for the sake of her friend. “What did you talk about?”

“Um…mostly about how much he loves Ladybug?”

Alya placed her mug on the roof and gave Marinette a blank stare. “So, the thing that attracts you to Chat Noir is his feelings for someone else?”

“Uh…” _Well, when you put it like that…_ “I…I think so? It’s just…there’s this whole other side of him that people never get to see. And he’s so sweet and lonely and his eyes kind of light up when he talks about her. And…um…this is bad, isn’t it?”

“I should say so! _Why_ , Marinette? Why would you do this to yourself? It’s doomed from the start!”

“Don’t you think I know that!” Marinette wailed and collapsed in her lawn chair. Alya heaved a deep sigh and picked up her tea once more.

“It’s going to be okay, Marinette. We’ll figure this out.”

“I don’t believe you.” Marinette groaned.

 

***

 

Adrien got to school early the next day.

He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about what he had overheard the previous afternoon. The phrase ‘like a brother to me’ swam round and round in his head, circling the drain of his psyche. First of all, _what?_ Second of all, why would Marinette say that about Chat Noir? Third of all, why would she say that about _anyone?_ What did it mean? Was it a bad thing? A good thing? A terrible thing? A wonderful thing? A medium thing? Adrien didn’t know. He didn’t know how to react or what to think or what to do. He wasn’t even certain he should _do_ anything. And yet…

Something about Marinette’s phrasing didn’t sit right with him.

Plagg was no help whatsoever, as usual. The kwami had even resorted to clamping his paws over his ears and shouting “I can’t hear you!” over and over at the top of his lungs.

So Adrien tried asking someone else over breakfast.

“Nathalie, what does it mean when a girl says you’re like a brother to her?”

“Ideally it means you’re a compatible organ donor. Now eat your granola.”

Adrien didn’t think that’s what Marinette meant, but he had to admit it was a remote possibility. Still, he decided it would be best to speak with an expert on fraternal relationships.

“Alix!” He waved when he saw his pink-haired classmate approach the school. “Good morning!”

“Morning…” Alix replied a little suspiciously as she came to a halt at the bottom of the steps. Adrien was nice and all, but they weren’t close. She didn’t know what to make of him singling her out like this. “Were you…waiting for me?”

“Yeah.” Adrien nodded. “I wanted to ask you something.”

“Oh, okay.” She relaxed, confusion abated. “Shoot.”

“You have brothers, right?”

“Yeah. Three of them.”

“What is having a brother like?”

“Why? Did your dad knock up his secretary or something?”

“Please don’t put that visual in my head. I mean generally speaking. What kind of relationship do people have with their brothers?”

Alix still didn’t understand why Adrien was asking but she shrugged and decided it didn’t really matter. “I can’t speak for everyone, but with me and my siblings it’s full-on war, 24/7. I have a little brother I get along with, but that’s just because he’s small enough for me to throw him around. The older two are assholes.” She began ticking qualities on her fingers. “They’re loud, they’re obnoxious, they eat everything in sight, they fill up the bathroom with toxic body spray smog _every morning_ and yet they _still_ smell bad. They leave messes everywhere. They steal my bike and then they wreck it. And did I mention how annoying they are?” Alix looked up and realized that Adrien’s complexion had turned ashen and his jaw was hanging open. “You doing okay there, Sunflower?”

“Yeah…” Adrien answered weakly, a far-away look in his eyes as he stared over her head. Alix turned and glanced down the street towards the Dupain-Cheng bakery, but she couldn’t see anything of interest. Adrien shook his head and returned to the present. “Yeah. Thanks, Alix. That…cleared up some things.”

“Happy to help.”

 

***

 

“This is all your fault.”

“I highly doubt that.”

“Alix said that brothers are people who smell bad.” Adrien stood in a utility closet and held his bag open, glaring down at his bored kwami. “You’re the reason I smell of stinky cheese all the time. That must be why Marinette thinks I’m like a brother.”

“She thinks of _Chat Noir_ as a brother.”

“Same thing.”

“Not in this specific instance. You don’t smell like camembert when you’re transformed. Haven’t you noticed?”

Adrien shook his head and Plagg snorted with disgust. In addition to being irritating, teenagers were not very observant. How long was this whole adolescence thing supposed to last, anyway? A few months? That seemed about right. It couldn’t possibly last much longer than a few months, six tops. Any longer would just be unreasonable.

“Well, you don’t.” The kwami continued. “The transformation is a total molecular rejuvenation. And since none of the cheese particles survive the process, Chat Noir does not smell of camembert.”  

At least that meant Marinette didn’t think Chat Noir smelled bad.

But if that wasn’t the criteria…

“She thinks I’m messy!” He wailed.

Plagg rolled his eyes. “Why would she think that? What possible evidence would she have to base that conclusion on?”

“If it’s neither of those two things that means…” Adrien gulped as his blood ran cold. “That means she thinks I’m loud and obnoxious.”

“Probably. I also think you’re loud and obnoxious.”

This was the worst thing that had ever happened to Adrien.

“Kid, let me ask you something: why does it matter?”

_Danger Will Robinson! Daaaaanger!_

“It doesn’t.” He snapped, shutting his bag and opening the closet door before his kwami could respond. “It doesn’t matter.”

Who cared what Marinette thought of Chat Noir? Who cared if she thought he was loud and obnoxious and not good enough? Whoever heard of a superhero who needed his classmate to think he was the coolest thing since the discovery of absolute zero in order to feel validated? That would be _absurd._ Ridiculous. Laughable, even.

So why wasn’t Adrien laughing?

 

***

 

“Marinette, it’s time to go to school.”

“Five more minutes, Tikki.”

“If that’s what you want, but didn’t class already start three minutes ago?”

“Tikki!” Marinette wailed for the thousandth time as she paced her bedroom. “This is a disaster!”

“Why?”

“I can’t be crushing on Chat!”

“You are though.”

“I shouldn’t be!”

“It doesn’t really work that way, I’m afraid.”

“It’s completely irresponsible!”

“Yeah, but so is skipping class to rant about boys.”

“Tikki! You’re not helping!”

“Fine. How long do you think you’ve been feeling this way?”

“Always? Since yesterday? I don’t know, don’t ask me that.”

“Okay. What about Adrien?”

“I DON’T KNOW DON’T ASK ME THAT!”

Tikki sighed as Marinette nervously undid and redid her pigtails for the twentieth time that morning.

“What should I do? Should I tell him? Should I not tell him? Should I change my name and dye my hair and start wearing glasses and move to Reykjavik?”

Tikki gasped and her eyes sparkled. “Yes! Let’s move to Reykjavik!”

Marinette froze and stared at her. “…I didn’t mean…I can’t actually do that, Tikki.”

Tikki’s antennae drooped with disappointment. “Shame. If we lived in Iceland, I wouldn’t have to hide. We could just tell everyone I’m an elf.”

“Huh?”

“Oh, do you not know about elves and Iceland? Here, this is what the alien overlords invented Google for.”

“I’m pretty sure Google was invented by humans, Tikki.”

“Oh sweet, innocent, sheltered, naïve, uninformed—”

“Okay, okay, I get it. Holy hell, is that the time?! I’m late for school!”

“I already said tha—never mind.”

 

***

 

Adrien looked up when Marinette burst through the classroom door and then immediately looked down again. He focused on his worksheet as she crept past his desk, whispering hello to him and Nino before taking her seat behind him. Nino whispered hello back, but Adrien didn’t even acknowledge her presence. Marinette didn’t seem to notice, too absorbed with avoiding the teacher’s disapproving gaze, but Nino definitely noticed. Adrien could feel his best friend staring holes in the side of his face, but he refused to glance over.

He wasn’t happy about this situation, not one bit. Why didn’t Marinette think Chat Noir was cool anymore? She used to. He knew that she used to because he’d asked her about it, and she had no reason to lie to Adrien. What had changed? Admittedly, he hadn’t been trying as hard to impress her as he used to, but so what? Chat Noir was still cool even if he didn’t show off his muscles and perform a lot of unnecessary barrel rolls, right?

 _I should have flexed more._ Adrien thought mournfully. _Then she wouldn’t think I’m obnoxious._

Maybe he should try asking her about his alter ego as Adrien again. Then he could find out exactly what he’d done to change her opinion, and hopefully he could repair the damage. It was important to him that Marinette thought Chat Noir was awesome. Because…

Uh…

Because she was his friend and she was an excellent judge of character and she’d interacted with Chat Noir on a personal level in a way no other civilian had. She knew his superhero self better than anyone. Except for Ladybug, obviously. And he already knew Ladybug thought he was ridiculous. If Marinette thought so too, what did that say about him? Marinette’s opinion was important because it was a reflection of how Chat Noir presented himself to the world.

Yeah.

That worked.

The opportunity he was waiting for came at lunchtime. Most days he had to go home for lunch but today his bodyguard had a dentist appointment and so he was allowed to remain on campus and eat with his friends. And since Nino insisted on eating with Alya, and Marinette was hanging out with Alya, that meant Adrien got to sit down and demand some answers from Marinette.

Of course, he was very subtle about the whole thing.

“Superheroes are awesome, aren’t they?” He asked the group as he sat down on the grass next to Nino. “Marinette, who’s your favorite superhero?”

Marinette choked on her sandwich as Alya laughed so hard she snorted milk out her nose.

“Eww!” Nino cried, leaning away from her.

“Dammit, does anyone have napkins?” Alya asked as evacuated milk dribbled down her blouse. They shook their heads. “Ugh. Fine. I’ll go get some.” She rose to her feet and left the group, muttering under her breath about dry cleaning.

Adrien kept his eyes locked on Marinette’s face the whole time, waiting for her answer. She peeked at him from underneath her lashes and blushed. Adrien began to feel slightly calmer. He liked it when Marinette blushed around him. She was cute, and it gave him a warm fuzzy feeling in his belly whenever he thought she might be acting cute because of him or something he said. Then she stammered:

“Well…uh…I mean…Batman’s pretty cool, right?”

Batman?

_Batman?!_

Batman had never snatched her from the jaws of certain death!

Batman didn’t even have real super powers!

Also, Batman was fictional!

“I meant _real_ superheroes.” He replied, a little stiffly. Nino noticed and stared at him quizzically.

“Oh…uh…” Marinette’s blush deepened, but for some reason Adrien wasn’t as amused by her reaction as he usually was. “I guess…Victory?”

“Who’s that?” Nino asked.

“Seriously, Nino? Don’t you read the news?” Marinette turned to face her bespectacled friend, apparently more than delighted to discuss her favorite-real-life-superhero-who-was-not-Chat-Noir. “She’s the president of the United States! Don’t you remember when she revealed her secret identity during the election?”

“No. What election?”

“The United States presidential election in 20—oh never mind. She’s cool.” Marinette turned and smiled at Adrien. “Don’t you think so?”

Adrien shrugged noncommittally. He and Ladybug had met President Hombee during one of their adventures, and he hadn’t approved of the dismissive way she interacted with his partner. “I guess.” Maybe he was being too subtle? “I prefer Ladybug and Chat Noir, though.”

“HA HA HA I THINK I HEAR ALYA CALLING ME COMING ALYA!” Marinette jumped to her feet and ran in the direction opposite from the one Alya had walked in earlier. She remembered to grab her purse, but she forgot her lunch on the grass.

“Aren’t you going to chase after her?” Nino asked once she had disappeared around the corner of the building.

“No.” Adrien slouched and crossed his arms, scowling at Marinette’s abandoned sandwich. _Now_ who was being messy?

“Uh…are you mad or something?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m not mad. I’m _not._ Why would I be mad? Why would I be mad just because Marinette said that Chat Noir is like a brother to her? It doesn’t make any sense for me to be mad about that!”

Nino tweaked the brim of his cap thoughtfully. “You’re right, that doesn’t make any sense.”

“I know! There’s absolutely no good reason for her to say that!”

“…Okay. Y’know, dude, even though it doesn’t make sense, it kind of seems like maybe you _are_ mad about that?”

“I TOLD YOU I’M NOT MAD!”

 

***

 

_Meanwhile…_

Ines Laurent was helping her friend Adele Dubois unload a delivery van outside the bar they both worked at in the evenings. They were a kick-ass bartending team, competent, collected, and widely rumored to mix the best cocktails in Paris. Ines had been wildly in love with Adele for almost as long as they’d known each other, but she hadn’t worked up the courage to confess her feelings.

As Ines carried a box of gin into the bar, she heard the delivery driver say to Adele:

“You and your girlfriend are really cute.”

Adele laughed, the notes carried into the dark, empty bar by the breeze. “You mean Ines? No, no, we’re not together. She’s like a sister to me!”

The box slipped out of Ines’ hands and the bottles inside broke, launching shattered glass and wet cardboard across the floor. Ines didn’t notice. She ran into the bathroom and turned the lock behind her as tears poured down her face.

She didn’t notice the black butterfly wriggling through the crack under the door until it was too late.

_“Greetings, Miserologist. I am Hawk Moth. You have always provided cheer and sustenance to the people of Paris. Now, it is your turn to be on the receiving end. All I ask in return is that you bring me the Ladybug and Black Cat Miraculouses.”_

“You can put it on my tab, Hawk Moth.”

_“Uh…yeah, no. I see what you’re trying to do with the quip and all, but that’s not really how this works.”_

“Are you always this hyper-critical?”

_“Yes, actually. But just so we’re clear, this isn’t a powers-now payment-later situation.”_

“Okay, okay. I got it. Two Miraculouses coming up. Sheesh.”

 

***

 

In a way, Marinette was glad she’d fled the school in a blind panic earlier, because it meant she didn’t have to make any easily debunked excuses to get out of class when the supervillain attacked.

Miserologist was flying around the city, absorbing the love and happiness of innocent civilians and leaving glum miserable husks in her wake. Her weapon was a plastic straw that could grow impossibly long and suck the soul right out of you. Luckily, it was easy to dodge.

“Missed me!” Ladybug jeered as she leapt out of the way of the most recent attack. “Missed me again!”

“Hold still!” Miserologist growled furiously, brandishing her straw from a distance of 20 yards. “This thing is hard to aim!”

“Sorry to twist your lime,” A new, though familiar, voice drawled. “But milady doesn’t care for suck-ups.”

Ladybug looked up to find Chat Noir perched on the rooftop high above her head and froze. The second she saw his emerald eyes glinting down at her, she fell into a cloud of soft pink fluttering emotion and totally forgot about everything else happening around her. It wasn’t until Chat Noir’s gorgeous eyeballs widened and he shouted her name in alarm that Marinette realized the odd sharp sensation on her cheek was the end of the magical straw poking her in the face. She cursed and jumped away, using her yoyo to fly up the building. She landed on the roof next to her partner.

“Are you okay?” He asked, reaching for her and checking for injuries. “What just happened? You were totally out of it.”

“I’m fine.” Ladybug replied quickly, pulling away and not meeting his eyes. “Let’s just…get this over with quickly, okay?” _Before I space out over how pretty you are again and get us both soul-sucked._

“Okay.” Chat Noir agreed. Then he glanced around at the street down below. “Do you think anyone’s filming us right now?”

“I don’t know.” Ladybug shrugged. “Why?”

“No reason. I mean, if someone _was_ filming, it wouldn’t hurt to put in a little extra effort, right? I mean, nothing wrong with showing people what we can do, yeah? And then if people see it they’ll think, oh wow, he’s really cool, maybe I was wrong about him? Or something?”

“Huh?”

“Uh…never mind. Do you know where the akuma is?”

“It’s the dishtowel in her belt. You go low, I’ll go high.”

“Got it.” Chat Noir backed up a few paces and took a running swan-dive off the edge of the roof before she could stop him. He rolled to a graceful stop on the ground and then exploded into the air, delivering a roundhouse kick directly to Miserologist’s nose.

Ladybug rolled her eyes as she followed him. Crush or no crush, her kitty was always _so_ dramatic.

Miserologist fell to the street under the force of Chat’s frontal assault. Ladybug was right about to swoop down over Miserologist and snatch the towel from her belt when all of a sudden…

 _“Nooooo!”_ A tall woman ran out of an alley and threw herself over the prone supervillain. “Don’t hurt her!”

Ladybug yanked her yoyo back just in time to avoid smacking the civilian. She landed on the pavement a few feet away, exchanging baffled looks with Chat.

“Who are you?” Chat demanded warily, holding his baton at the ready.

“Don’t hurt Ines!” The woman cried.

“Adele?” Miserologist blinked with confusion. Her head fell back as the glowing outline of a butterfly appeared over her face and Hawk Moth whispered into her ear. Adele began to sob into her chest.

“Ma’am, please get away from the supervillain.” Ladybug said firmly. “We’re not going to hurt her. We’re going to save her.”

“It’s not her fault!” Adele wailed. “It’s my fault for not being honest!”

“It doesn’t matter whose fault it was.” Ladybug tried very hard to be patient. “The sooner you get out of the way, the sooner we can save your friend.”

“She’s not my friend! She’s not my sister either!” Adele wailed. “She’s _mon amour!”_

“Wait—WHAT?!” Miserologist sat up suddenly. The butterfly outline glowed brighter for an instant and she frowned. “Shut up, Hawk Moth, I’m trying to have a conversation here. Adele, what are you saying?”

“Forgive me, Ines! I should have told you sooner! I was scared of change, but I didn’t realize I was hurting you! I’m so sorry!”

“Oh, _Adele_ …do you mean it? Do you really, truly love me?”

“Of course I do!”

“But you told the delivery driver I was like a sister to you?”

“Well…” Adele blushed and sat up, reaching for Miserologist’s hands and holding them to her heart. “I couldn’t tell _him_ when I hadn’t told _you_ yet. So I panicked and said the first thing that came to mind.”

“Excuse me—”

“Hold on, Ladybug, let’s hear what they have to say.” Chat interrupted her, his eyes laser-focused on the supervillain and her lover.

“Chat.” Ladybug frowned. “We have to get the akuma.”

“Here.” Miserologist pulled the dishtowel out of her belt and tossed it to the superheroes without taking her eyes off of Adele. “Take it. I don’t need it anymore.”

The two bartenders smiled at each other, lost in their own private world as the superheroes took care of business and departed into the late afternoon.

 

***

 

Chat Noir followed Ladybug to the Eiffel Tower. They perched on the lattices half-way up and watched the throngs of tourists meandering down below. Both superheroes were lost in their own thoughts as the sun began to sink below the horizon. Since neither had been forced to use their powers, there was no need for either to make a hasty departure. It wasn’t every day Adrien got to spend time with his lady like this, and usually he would be making the most of the opportunity.

Today, however, he had _other_ things on his mind.

What if…

What if Marinette didn’t actually equate Chat Noir with a theoretical brother-figure?

What if…

What if she’d gotten flustered by Alya’s question for… _other_ reasons?

Was…

Was that even possible?

Did…

Did he _want_ it to be possible?

As soon as the question popped into his head, Adrien knew the answer was a resounding and unequivocal _yes_.

“Chat, there’s something I need to—”

“Oh my god, I’m in love with Marinette!”

“…”

Chat noticed distantly that Ladybug appeared surprised by this declaration, but he didn’t think it could possibly compare to the surprise he was experiencing at the revelation. He leapt to his feet and began pacing the iron beam, tail swishing behind him with agitation.

It took all of Ladybug’s concentration not to fall off the tower in shock.

“I—I didn’t know!” Chat yelped, clawing at his hair. “I thought—we’re _friends!_ That’s how friends are supposed to feel about each other, right? I thought—Ladybug. Oh my god, Ladybug. What am I going to do?” He fell to his knees in front of her and looked up at her pleadingly. “I just realized that I’m in love with Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Help me.”

“…”

“Ladybug?”

“…”

“Milady?”

"..."

"Bugaboo?"

“HOW IS THIS HAPPENING A SECOND TIME?!” The tortured scream burst from Ladybug’s lips like a cannon ball and Chat Noir leaned back to avoid the blast. His jaw dropped and his ears flattened against his skull as her face turned dark red and she began to breathe heavily. “OH MY GOD! YOU CAN’T KEEP DOING THIS! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!”

“Wha—what are you talking about?” He asked hesitantly, cringing away from her fiery displeasure. He knew she didn’t care about him the same way he cared about her; she’d told him so. Why was she so upset over him falling for someone else? He thought she’d be happy for him at best, relieved at worst. He never expected her to be _angry._

Ladybug’s wrists snapped out and she grabbed his forelocks, yanking his face close to hers. “Chat Noir, you _have_ to stop telling me you love me.”

And then she kissed him. Firm, hard, fast. No tongue or teeth, just lips and heat.

Adrien never saw it coming. He didn’t want it to end.

But she drew back a few seconds later and hissed; “Just so we’re absolutely one hundred percent clear, _I’m_ Marinette.”

Adrien’s jaw dropped. He should probably feel delighted. Or embarrassed. Or nervous. But all he could think was…

“I can’t _believe_ you said your favorite superhero was _Batman._ I’m _way_ cooler than Batman.”

 _“Nino?!_ No, wait, that can’t be right…ADRIEN?!”

**Author's Note:**

> It never occurred to me that Marinette could identify with Wile E Coyote until I wrote this fic, but now it is my new favorite head canon.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it! This fic was the product of me practicing writing when I *want* to write as opposed to waiting around for inspiration to hit. It's definitely lighter than most of the fics I have up on AO3, but it was fun to write and I hope it was fun to read.
> 
> All comments are welcome, appreciated, serenaded and doused with rose petals.


End file.
